EMPTY PLACES

For sixty years, some portion of every Christmas for me has revolved around my parents. My father was notoriously hard to buy gifts for as he didn’t seem to like anything. My mother was especially vulnerable at Christmas and she always seemed for find something that hurt her feelings. But they both loved Christmas and from my earliest memories, they did a hundred things to try to make it special and memorable for me. They were Christmas people. (Yes, there are Christmas people, who love, look forward to, revel in, and sentimentalize everything about Christmas. Just the sight of a fake Santa Claus brings a tear to their eyes. And there are people who just don’t relate to Christmas, who do their duties but never feel the magic. Alas.)

This year, of course, for the first time, they are gone. The result is a little aura of sadness around the whole holiday for me. The holiday will have some empty places this year. I realize more poignantly now why so many people find the Christmas season difficult. This season has the year’s highest suicide rates. It creates the most hospital admissions for depression and other mental/emotional problems (not to mention alcohol abuse). As our culture layers on the sentimentality about families, giving and love, for many, this becomes a harsh reminder of how much those things are missing from their lives. Christmas is so much about memories. It brings back so many memories of loved ones lost. The empty places in our lives ache all the more vividly when we are forced to recall what we are missing. There are also people who have nothing but painful memories to look back on that are such a stark contrast to the images that we see all around us. At a time when everyone seems to be basking in celebrations family joys, so many of our families just don’t seem to measure up. There are so many reasons why the Christmas season can be difficult indeed.

Of course, all of this fits the story so perfectly. The Christmas celebration has the resources necessary to cope built right into it. It is a story, first of all, about the darkness. It’s about a couple, lost and alone, cold and forsaken, cut off from family and friends. It’s about a time, grim and harsh, uncertain and unforgiving, (talk about a recession, we have no idea). It’s about the difficult realities of life, with no sentimentality, no warmth, no comfort.

And the message is that, it is into such darkness that the light shines. It is into such lives that the miracle comes. It is into such times that the presence of God’s love is born that can make all the difference. The Christmas celebration is not about how the world is all cozy, comfortable and sweet. It is not about how warm and wonderful our families are. It is not about memories of Christmas’ past that are like visions of sugarplums dancing in our wee little heads. It is about the very kind of emptiness that we often feel being filled up. It is about the bad memories being redeemed somehow. It is about the lost loved ones being born again in our hearts and minds for a while, a little wistful and sad, but powerfully real. It is about the Christ child who comes into such times as ours, such lives as we have, such dysfunctional moments as we experience, with a word of hope and a touch of love and a flood of grace.

And so, bring on the sadness, open up the grief, let the memories come; for in this season, God’s grace will touch and bless it all. The power of Christ’s love is active and abroad in the world and we have nothing to fear. “Watchmen, tell us of the night…” For we know that the light is coming, and shining in every dark place. That is the miracle of Christmas. May you find a merriness in that this season.

All Christmas cheer be with you,